Monday, 7 June 2010

Shawshank Sheep by @maverick99sback

I don’t care that I’ll get lynched for this. Someone needs to call this film out, for what it is… a freaking fraud!

In 1994, Quentin tarantino was robbed at the Oscars – because the Academy has no balls. Instead, they gave a ton of awards to Forrest Gump. Now I quite like, FG. But I blame Shawshank Redemption more for QT and his lack of Oscar.

It split the academy, and their votes. Plus, Tom Hanks was playing a retard. That will get you an Oscar every time. Ask Sean Penn. *shiver*

Of my three major grievances, that’s the most tenuous – so I thought I’d get it out of the way. Next? Next is the “twist”.

Now, I’m not saying all of you, appreciate the film more for the twist, but critics? They went doolally. Much like they did a year later, making out the ONLY thing of note in Usual Suspects was… the twist.

I have issues. Tim Robbins orders little tools. Then, a poster. Then he looks at these tools, longingly. Then he puts the poster up. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU THINK HE WAS DOING?? Crafting little chess pieces??? Oh.

It’s barmy. How a film, can be lauded, as “clever this – clever that”. What about Terminator? It’s about Time Travel! He sends someone back in time to impregnate his mum, or he won’t exist in the future, and be able to send him back in time, from when he’s in the future. THAT’S CLEVER!

Next? Next is Morgan Freeman. I’ve never liked him – and it’s not racial. Lucius Fox has redeemed him. He owes Christopher Nolan his life. And Ed Zwick. Because he’s also brilliant in Glory. And, Hard Rain.

Next? The Green Mile. I love it. I would love it anyway, but the fact that it came under the radar – and everyone else was too busy giving SR the reach around – brilliant. It’s so superior to SR it’s not even funny. But no… 

I love Frank Darabont. The Mist is amazing. Where were you all, when  that needed his support? Giving SR a reach around, that’s where!

Next? Anyone that watches films, but knows very little about them has it as their default.

“It’s my bestest film ever!”

“I love the bit with the record player!”

“I cry when they keep stamping Morgan Freemans little book”

“Why is there no shower scene?”

The top one is offensive too me.

Like what you like, but don’t be a Shawshank Sheep! Ask yourself… is it really that good? Is it?