Tuesday, 23 November 2010

The One Where AT Dissects Jack Ass 3D


Evening kids. AT here. On GCs Blog. I stress that because some of you still don't get that, do you?

I do films. He does music. Right?

If you've ever read my Blog, you know I'm a 3D apologist.

I'll buy a 3D TV next year, knowing that the trend may die out.

But things have started to trickle in to make me think it may survive.

Sky are getting behind it for one.

Cameron, Spielberg, Scorcese all have 3D movies coming out.

So there's hope yet. The key question is... what does Jack Ass 3D contribute to that? Hit the read more, but beware. It 'aint safe for work. Or Mums.


Toy Story 3? Check.
The Last Airbender? Check. (Although I'm still not sure why.)
Piranha 3D plus floating cock? Check.
Saw 3D? Check.

I've done the lot, thanks to my CinePass (I should be on commission). £1.50 surcharge suckers you in. That's the price of a can of Monster. Why not get high on a movie, instead? In 3D.

Jack Ass 3D had to wait a week, due to non-Ledger activities. And there's nothing worse than that.

So, what did we get for £1.50?

Cock.

Lots, and lots of cock.

And for JMcG and I, having endured severed 3D cock in Piranha 3D, that's a bit too much cock.

To be fair, they tried to cover up some of the cock, using one of those Iraq prisoner of w`r black bars. But it kept moving. I'm sure that was unintentional. Right?

So, we had 3D cock, playing Baseball. Where by he was swinging his cock, at a ball, and using it as the stick/club/bat (What do they call it? A baton?)

Now, I don't want to build it all up as "cock this, and cock that", for one reason. There is also Midgets.

And midgets fighting. Only to be arrested by midget police. And mended back to midget life by midget paramedics.

It's like In Bruges on acid. And I mean that as a compliment.

Throw in there the usual impossible escapes from death and serious injury.

It's all good fun, and in hindsight, deliriously stupid. But after seeing Skyline for a second time just before, it was exactly what the doctor ordered.

If you're not sold on the cock baseball though, give it a miss, yeah?

I really liked it. Everyone looked old. And they knew it. They were enjoying what has to be their last stab at a big screen experience, and fair play to them.

Oh wait. I've just had a lucrative, money-spinning idea... Jack Ass 4D.

Bring it on.

But no cocks, eh?