Tuesday, 1 March 2011

The One Where AT Expects To Bemoan The Academy

Well, they do get it right sometimes...

If I had been off Monday, I would have stayed up.


Not because I agree with the results, (I rarely do). More because I love seeing it all play out. I hope for a wardrobe malfunction. I hope for someone to fuck their lines up. I hope that, out of all of the awards, (and lets be honest... there are lots), they get just one right.


The Oscars this year really confused me, though.


The only nomination of note for my favourite film of last year, was Jeremy Renner as Best Supporting Actor in The Town. So that's a wipe out.


Inception was up for loads. And if that won, there would be hope that new, original summer blockbusters could break new ground. You know... be considered serious. Able to challenge the boring English dramas. Able to stand toe-to-toe with the arty films.


It's weird writing this before they even happen. My rota dictates that.


I'll be happy if True Grit, Social Network, Inception and Bale get something. I'd probably give Nolan Best Director, Jesse Best Actor, and Social Network Best Film. Although I would love it if Toy Story 3 won Best Film.


If The Kings Speech won large... well, although I won't be surprised, it will be the biggest travesty since Forrest Gump beating Pulp Fiction in '94.


I should be supporting British/English.


The media tell me too.


People who never go to the movies tell me The Kings Speech is a magical, brilliant film.


I've seen it. I beg to differ. It's well acted. Well shot. Nice sets and that. But THE GREATEST THING EVER AND EVER? No. Not for me.


The Kings Speech is *one* thing, though. It's the new Shawshank Redemption.


Fuck. FUCK. FUCK.

Fuck it. I had all that written before The Oscars. I stand by most of it, but The Kings Speech getting Best Director/Best Picture? I'm actually a bit angry.

Tune in next week to read me tear The Kings Speech a new fucking one.

That last line that's crossed out?

That can stay.


THE KINGS SPEECH IS ONE THING, THOUGH. IT'S THE NEW SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION SHEEP.

Baaaaaaaa.

It's a sheep, FFS!