Friday 27 September 2013


I drove up the coast to the pier, planning on getting in the little speed boat thing and collecting bits of a submarine but when I arrived the bar called, a gang was firing shots into it.  So I turned the car round and parked up, took out my sniper rifle and popped them from a distance.  One of the little bastards ran for it so I chased him down in my Audi and ran him down.  Job done.  Back to the pier.  An hour later I had the pieces of the submarine for the widowed wife pulling an insurance scam.  She gave me ten bucks for my trouble.  Ten.  She walked away.  Ten bucks.  I pulled out my rifle.  Three shots and she was down.  A couple of guys noticed on the pier and ran or it.  I turned and watch them jump on the railing at the end and dive into the sea.  The beautiful sea.  It was tempting to try and take them out but it had been a long day and I couldn't be bothered with a chase.  I turned and strode up the beautifully rendered wooden steps only to find the bloody car had gone.  The sun was dipping over the hills as I walked across the road to the car park and broke into one of the cheap looking 4x4s.  The owner was close by and spotted me, he dragged me out of the car, the fool.  Three punches and he was down.  The 4x4 was slow and I was hurrying to get home so I pulled in front of the BMW and took it.  Silly fucker was calling the cops as I drove off.  I got my chase anyway.  One star though so no bother.  Head into the hills, trash the BMW, switch cars.  Gone.

GTA has its faults.  Rampant sexism.  That torture scene.  All need addressing.  Big time.

BUT. BUT.  As a sandbox, nothing, nothing does is like this.  It is, if not one of the best, then one of the most impressive games ever.  Above is a snap shot of an hour and a half of GTA.  Every hour and a half in GTA is like this.  Ebb and flow, Trevor, Michael and Franklin chasing the money.  They scam, get scammed and kill folk.  They smoke dope in front of their TVs, pour a glass of scotch, make crystal meths and drive cars really fast.  A lot.

GTA5 isn't perfect, it is a flawed, sometimes terribly flawed, diamond.  But when you catch it in the right light it shines like nothing else.

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