Monday, 3 January 2011

Confessions of Crap Gamer


What is it about Call of Duty that is so enjoyable?

I'll fess up and say that I'm no tactician when it comes to games like this.  I can't think quickly enough to make really good choices although once in a while I'll go, 'Ohhhh that's a nice dark corner, I'll hide here for a bit,' then get bored, ignore my beautifully placed and protective claymore, move and get horribly shot to death.  BY SOMEONE WHO IS CLEARLY A WANKER!!!

That's the joy of it I think.  The absolutely blind hatred of the people you're fighting against.  The frustration of making an error and getting killed needlessly is clearly never my fault, the blame laying with the fuckbag who just shot me, who is CLEARLY cheating his numbdumbnuts off.  I shout at the TV.  The cat looks up, stares at me for a second, realises that it's not her being asleep that's offended me and resumes snoring.

One of the few joys of living alone is that apart from occasionally rousing the pet, no one can hear me scream.  It's like Alien but less worrying than falling out of the loft.  Which always worries me.

So anyway, I know I should be playing GT and ploughing through the races in my super car, but when it comes to just kicking back and having a bit of a good rage at no one in particular, you can't beat Call of Duty.

I'm not bad at Black Ops (the latest one) either.  More kills than deaths, which for me is unheard of.  Maybe it is easier (IT ISN'T) but it is more fun than its predecessors and I really like how it doesn't seem to pander as much to the snipers.  I hate snipers.  Even as I'm typing this I'm thinking about what I might do to my class to improve it.  Drop the NubeTube as everyone's now running around with a flak jacket on and move to a sight of some sort?  See I can be tactical.  And write sentences that will make no sense to quite a lot of you.

Now where's that jizzmonkey that just stabbed me in the back?