Suddenly, however, 2010's Black Ops was a different experience. For once my KDR crept into the positives. Not spectacularly by any means but never the less it was an improvement. It took me fucking months. I'd stay at around one hundred kills off, get close and then go on a spectacular streak of dying more often than plankton. Then I'd pull it close again and eventually, sometime in 2011, I got over the line and stayed there. I never got above a ratio of 1.11, but I can remember the punch the air moment of getting to 1.00, me and the cat leaping from the sofa etc.
I stayed away from Modern Warfare Three, not because I was still loving Black Ops but because I was consumed by dragons and that on Skyrim. It was a pretty decent excuse for not dipping my toe in the water but it was never going to last. Well it could have gone on forever, but the lag on PS3 and my silly 'it's nearly over, I don't want it to be over' brain malfunction bollocks meant that I asked for MW3 for Christmas and my lovely sister dutifully complied.
And so here we are, two or so weeks on from me first slipping the disc in the PS3 and I have a positive KDR. It's not just sitting still either, it's getting better and I have no idea why to be honest. Map wise it's the best of the Modern Warfare franchise, there's not one where I think, 'Oh shit balls, I'm gonna die horribly here.' Well unless I'm playing with @blindfumble and @maverick99sback, but that's a whole other story. The kill streak rewards feel a bit less ridiculous too. My KDR is 1.15 at the mo which by my standards is mentally brilliant. By most other people's it's pretty average, but fuck it, I'm polishing my virtual medals. SO THERE.
As a footnote to end on (and this will make no sense to anyone who's not played COD in the last few years) the FMG9 with akimbo will fuck you right off until you start using it and you become a killing machine. Well a virtual one. War is bad. Etc.